A Thousand Times Over
by Joanna May
Summary: There are other people who could protect you. SiriusNarcissa


"I shouldn't even be talking to you, Sirius. Bella would go crazy, and you know it" The blonde spoke evenly, her calm demeanour somewhat contradicted by her inability to meet the boy's eyes.

"Screw Bella!" The young man growled, turning away and slamming a fist against the cold dungeon wall.

Sirius ran an agitated hand through his untidy dark hair, and exhaled deeply. Shouting at Narcissa would achieve nothing. He looked back at his cousin, their eyes meeting for a fleeting moment. He sighed, and placed a hand on her shoulder, expecting her to flinch. To pull away and shout. Sirius could deal with shouting. The unexpected was his forté, and yet something about this girl always managed to disarm him. His face softened, like it always did, as he saw the hurt in her eyes.

"Why do you pay such heed to what Bella wants?" he sighed, shaking his head.

"Without Bella, I'm nothing," Narcissa forced herself to meet his eyes, tears threatening to spill. "I'm not like you, Sirius. I'm not strong. I couldn't survive without my family. And if living under my sister's control is the price I pay for my family's protection, I'd pay it a thousand times over"

It was the truth. Or at least the truth as Narcissa Black knew it. She had climbed the Slytherin popularity ladder because of her connections to Bellatrix, and she accepted it. Without Bellatrix, she would be rotting in some corner, shunned and forgotten by the majority of her housemates. Under Bellatrix's protection, she ruled the House, second only to Bellatrix herself. Narcissa ran a hand through her golden blonde hair and looked away, unconsciously mimicking her cousin's actions.

Her head jerked as Sirius laughed harshly. "Narcissa, open your eyes. The most ancient and noble house of Black doesn't protect. And if you think it does, you're even more foolish than I thought. The Black's don't protect, they control" He paused, guilt again holding his tongue. He crouched down to meet his seated cousin's eyes. "They aren't the only people who could protect you, Narcissa"

Anger flared in those steely eyes. Narcissa despised it when he did this to her. When he got to her like this. Each word coming from those lips was like a fist, clenching her heart and squeezing as tight as it could. His logic was getting to her, and she was quickly losing her own beliefs. They could be together. Sirius wasn't like the other purebloods. He was a good person, really. She sighed, and shook her head. When she looked back up to him, any trace of sadness had left her eyes, instead replaced with pure malice.

"Protect me? Sirius, you messed up your own life, what makes you think I'd let you mess up mine?" She sneered, "Lucius can protect me. Lucius can offer me everything I've ever dreamed of and more. What makes you think I'd choose a blood traitor like you over him?"

Sirius stepped back, his face hardened once again. "You're doing a pretty good job of messing up your life without my help, Narcissa. Your father, Bella, Lucius...when are you going to take control of your own life? It's all very well to pass the responsibility to someone else, Narcissa, but what about when there's no-one left to take the blame?"

With these words, he turned on his heel and stormed away. Narcissa breathed the cold dungeon air in deeply, trying desperately to compose herself. To blink back the tears now threatening to reveal themselves. Hugging her long legs tight, dignity forgotten for the moment, she gave up the fight. Icy tears streamed down her flushed cheeks, as she mentally cursed Sirius. The truth in his words stung, but not half as much as his disgusted tone had pierced her heart.

A short way down the corridor, Sirius paused. He sighed, wishing his head would clear. Narcissa didn't give a damn about him, that much was clear to him. Everything he had risked to talk to her; the whisperings of their housemates, the dirty looks in the corridor. Apparently it counted for nothing. Sirius could feel a lump forming in his throat, and yet his pride wouldn't allow the tears to fall. Slamming his fist against another unfortunate wall, he cursed his cousin.


End file.
